The actual title of the piece is:

How I Get By Without sysadmin

But I think the essence is in a subtitle: Write Queries Organically

via How I Get By Without sysadmin | Facility9.

If I had my way, anyone who touches a SQL Server (that I have some responsibility for) would have to sign a declaration that they have read this article and pledge an oath to abide by it.

Similarly, anyone coming to complain about the SQL server being slow would have to provide a written explanation as to why they can’t improve the execution plan of the top three most expensive queries. Anyone caught with a 1,5GB heap table will be made to do the top ten most expensive queries before we even think of checking any performance counters.

Of course, the SQL Servers we’re talking about are never going to be perfect (not for the price the Business Partners are willing and able to pay) so there will often be something the DBA can do to improve performance or something they can suggest to the developer and/or user which would improve performance. However, going straight to the DBA without checking the basics is like calling the electrician when your TV doesn’t work because the batteries in the remote are dead. Unnecessary expense and possibly even ridicule may occur.

Yours, 100% friendlywise, A